Lost Memories
by BadWolfBabe
Summary: It takes one mistake in the past to alter your future... Will Beast Boy let Terra slip away from him again? Or will Slade convince Terra that he is the only one she needs?
1. Ghost of You

Lost Memories

Beast Boy stood, idle in his spot. He couldn't help but feel stone, almost as stone as she is.

It was the one year anniversary (should it be called an anniversary? He wondered this briefly. Anniversaries were usually happy occasions) since Terra had left them, for what seemed like forever. Raven had said that she was looking for a way to reserve the effect, but after three hundred and sixty-five long days, nothing seemed possible anymore.

"It's becoming increasingly difficult to find a way to reverse this," Raven said in a hushed voice.

"We miss you, friend," Starfire said, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She walked closer to the statue, and placed a fresh bundle of roses at her feet.

Robin placed his hand on her shoulder, and pulled her close to him. It seemed peculiar to him that everyone got emotional whenever they visited Terra, especially considering she had betrayed them. But he let the feeling pass.

Cyborg closed his eyes, fleeting memories running amok in his mind. Mostly the time when she won the last slice of pizza. He had thought that she was clever, and that she would defiantly make a great addition to the team. But like everyone else, he was fooled.

Terra wasn't clever, she was genius.

Silence engulfed the team once again, as they all recovered memories from when she was alive. After what seemed like an hour, Robin finally said, "Let's start to head home. It's getting dark."

Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven lumbered behind him, letting contentment return to their minds with every step. Only Beast Boy remained behind, still staring, still remembering.

"BEAST BOY!" Cyborg called to him. "LET'S GO!"

Beast Boy snapped out his trance and glanced toward Cyborg, who was waiting for him. He looked back at Terra, and whispered, "I miss you." He then started toward Cyborg, the rest of his team, and home.


	2. SOS

Lost Memories

The team got home about an hour later, making a quick stop at the grocery store so Cyborg could pick up waffle mix. When they got home, everyone went back to normal – Raven meditated, Starfire walked Silkie, Robin spent most of his time in his room, searching for the newest enemy, and Cyborg cooked. Only Beast Boy remained distraught from the visit. He sat on the couch, mindless, watching one of his favorite movies, _Attack of the Zombies_.

Beast Boy sighed, still thinking about Terra. About how they close they were, how they had so much fun, how everything seemed so right every moment they were around each other…

"Hey BB," Cyborg called out the kitchen area, "Want some pancakes?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Cyborg raised his eyebrow at his friend's passive attitude. But rather than question it further, he gave in and continued to cook.

Starfire wandered by the couch, smiling and humming to herself obliviously. When she spotted Beast Boy, she beamed, "Hello friend!"

He gave no response, only a sigh. She frowned, downtrodden by the mood, and wandered over to Robin's room.

"Hey Star," Robin greeted her, walking out of his room. "Just finished looking through a bunch of files on Johnny Rancid."

Starfire smiled in response, but then frowned slightly. "I fear that something is wrong with our friend Beast Boy."

Robin waved it off. "He's still mourning Terra. He'll be better in a couple of days."

She smiled weakly and then strolled back into the living room with Robin. The two sat down on the couch, trying to become absorbed into the movie, but the saddening feeling started to creep back under their skin every moment they sat there.

Eventually, Raven joined the rest of the team on the couch, all watching the movie mindlessly. Everyone was too afraid to speak, afraid of what the reaction to what they said would be.

Robin suddenly felt a sharp pain in his temple. He placed his hand to his forehead, trying to stop it. But the feeling grew. It felt so familiar… like it'd happened before…

"Robin?" Raven stared at him peculiarly. "Everything okay?"

Robin jumped from his seat and shut his eyes tight. His heart started to beat faster, rapidly, he felt as if he were going to collapse when he felt something emerge from his skull.

"Oops," Larry said bashfully. He stared around at everyone briefly, and then up at Robin, who was staring down at him wide eyed. "ROBIN! My hero Robin! Good to see you again!"

"Larry? What are you doing here?" Robin inquired, still staring with wide eyes.

Larry shrugged. "There was nothing interesting going on in my universe so I thought 'Boy! I should visit Robin!'. Then when I tried to zap myself over here I accidentally got stuck in your head again." He looked down at the ground, embarrassed with himself.

Everyone stared at the claimed Robin clone. Finally, Robin asked, "How long are you planning on staying?"

Larry leaped onto Robin, hugging him tightly. "Whenever I get bored of my DNA buddy!"

Everyone sighed in unison, not knowing what to make of the situation. Cyborg stood up and walked away, muttering something about locking up the refrigerator. Raven followed after him, claiming that she forgot to meditate for a certain amount of time, leaving Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boy left to handle Larry.

Larry continued to beam, oblivious that to the fact that he was only a burden. He spotted Starfire and lunged onto her, much like the way he did Robin. Starfire giggled girlishly, picked him off of her, and placed him on the ground.

Beast Boy smirked at Larry, and then directed his attention back to the movie. He had perked up a little, but not enough to be back his "normal self". Terra continued to plight him, with the vague memory of her smile or her laugh. He glanced back toward Robin, Starfire, and Larry, and then noticed they were all staring at him.

"What?" he asked, trying not to sound too hostile. The three other titans looked at each other in a concerned manner, and migrated off to a different spot.

"So is everything super around here?" Larry asked, still smiling widely.

Robin and Starfire exchanged anxious glances. "For us, everything is. But we're not so sure about him." Robin pointed toward Beast Boy.

Larry placed his magic finger on his chin, examining Beast Boy from afar. He then asked, "What's wrong with him?"

Robin and Starfire exchanged glances yet again. Finally, Robin exhaled deeply. "All right, Larry, here's what's been going on…"

Robin told Larry everything, well mostly everything. About Terra, and how she and Beast Boy "bonded". How she had become Slade's apprentice and betrayed them. And then finally, he retold the story of how she became encased in stone, and how it was becoming near impossible to bring her back.

Larry listened intently to every word that Robin said, nodding every now and then. When Robin finished speaking, Larry snapped his fingers. "I can do it!"

"Do what, precisely?" Starfire inquired.

"Fix Terra!" he beamed, jumping up and down. "It'll be a cinch!"

Robin shook his head. "I don't think so. It's too delicate a situation to work with…"

Larry started to pout. "But I fixed your arm remember? And I've been practicing too!"

Robin considered the pros and cons of what he was about to concede to. The worst possible situation would be that Terra would disappear; the best would be that Terra would come back to life.

"Well?" Larry asked, trying not to sound anxious (although he failed in doing so).

Robin sighed in defeat, spying Beast Boy out of the corner of his eye. "I don't want him to be unhappy so… Yeah, go for it."

"YAY!" Larry leaped into the high, bouncing around. "I won't let you down Robin! I'll go right now if you want me to-"

"You don't even know where she is," Robin stopped Larry before he went anywhere. "Me and Star will bring you there tomorrow all right?"

Larry nodded vigorously. Finally he would have the chance to show Robin how good he had become in using his magic finger. He beamed. Only fourteen more hours.

The next day, Beast Boy woke up late – around one. He knew Robin would probably yell at him for missing combat practice but he didn't care anymore.

He lumbered into the living room and placed himself on the couch next to Cyborg, who was playing a racing game. He grinned when he realized that Cyborg was losing.

"You wanna play? I'm getting tired of Mr. Big Shot here," Cyborg said, tossing him a controller.

Beast Boy shook his head. "Nah, it's too much fun watching you get your butt kicked."

Cyborg shot him several patronizing looks, but then went back to his game. Beast Boy was about to get up from the couch to get something to eat when he heard:

"…It doesn't matter! You still didn't completely fix her!" Robin shouted, his voice echoing in the halls.

"But I tried, Robin! I tried! And she's _nearly_ normal!" Larry pleaded. "Please forgive me, Robin! Pleeeease?"

"Will y'all keep it down?" Cyborg yelled back to them. "I need complete concentration here!"

Robin and Larry hushed down, letting Cyborg become reabsorbed into his game. When no one else spoke, Beast Boy got up and headed over for the fridge. He thought he heard footsteps approaching, more than just Robin and Larry, but he shrugged it off. Starfire and Raven could have gone out as well.

"We have returned!" Starfire beamed, clapping for herself. Beast Boy continued to stare into the refrigerator, deciding it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"What the…?" Cyborg started, dropping his controller. Beast Boy heard Starfire giggle and then run to the other side of the room.

The room went silent for a moment – eerily silent. Raven walked into the room and went speechless before she could say anything. Beast Boy was becoming irritated by the group's silence. He shut the refrigerator door shut and then walked into the middle of the room, where he too became stunned.

Standing in between Larry and Robin was Terra.

Living, breathing Terra.

He felt his jaw drop, and all eyes go on him. But he didn't care. Terra was alive again!

Beast Boy ran over to her, and pulled her into an embrace, holding on to her tightly. "Terra…" He breathed, "I've missed you so much."

Terra smiled nervously, and reluctantly hugged him back. When he pulled away, she stared him up and down. Robin and Larry exchanged looks of fright.

"That's great, but," Terra began, speaking slowly, "I don't know who you are."


	3. Step by Step

Lost Memories

Beast Boy felt his heart tear in two. Terra didn't remember him? How could she not?

"She lost her memory," Robin explained as Terra wandered over to the windows. He pointed accusingly at Larry, "When _he_ tried to fix her, he forgot what he was doing halfway in and she got this way."

"I said sorry!" Larry pouted. He leaped onto Robin and said, "But she's alive, and that's what matters most, right?" He waited for some reassurance. _"Right?"_

Beast Boy let his mouth hang open slightly. Too much had happened within _five minutes_… He felt too overwhelmed… He needed to sleep…

"So she doesn't remember anything?" Cyborg asked, walking over from God-Knows-Where.

"Not much. We managed to tell her where she was, who we," Robin pointed to himself, Larry and Starfire, "are, and what we do."

Larry grinned broadly. "Robin said I was a Teen Titan." He hugged Robin again. "My DNA buddy!"

Robin sighed, and then looked over toward Terra, who was examining the television. "She should probably sleep."

"Sleep?" Beast Boy raised his eyebrow. "She was just asleep for a year."

"She needs to eat," Cyborg concurred. "Waffles."

Starfire clapped her hands together. "Do you think she would wish to partake in the consumption of my-"

"No," Robin said quickly, causing Starfire to pout. "No offense meant, Star, but she should probably have something… _real_ to eat."

Starfire lit up again and then flew off. "I shall go locate the mustard!"

"So…" Terra wandered back over to the group. She eyed Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven peculiarly. "Who're you guys?"

Raven looked toward the others, debating whether or not she should actually reintroduce herself. What was the point? Terra had betrayed them – what said she wasn't going to again?

She continued to debate it, until Beast Boy and Cyborg looked to her to speak. She hesitated. "I'm… Raven."

Terra smiled good-naturedly. "Hi, Raven."

Raven forced a quick smile, but then excused herself from the awkwardness of the situation.

The group went silent again. Larry hopped off of Robin's shoulder and tried to look important, Terra admired the house, and Cyborg, Robin and Beast Boy all waited for each other to say something.

Beast Boy didn't get why he was being so silent. He had known her best… Better than anyone (and at this point in time, better than herself). Why did it feel so awkward to speak to her?

"Are you hungry?" he finally asked. Terra cocked her head at him, but the nodded vigorously.

"That'd be great!" She beamed, and followed Beast Boy and Cyborg toward the refrigerator.

"Is this memory loss thing temporary?" Beast Boy asked later on in the night. The "men" were huddled on the couch, while the "women" were trying to show Terra around.

Robin nodded unsurely, and then looked to Larry, who smiled.

"She should hopefully remember things piece by piece," he explained, "eventually, she'll have her whole memory back."

"How long will it take?" Cyborg asked, changing the channel for the umpteenth time.

"About a year."

"A year?!" Beast Boy felt his jaw drop. He jumped on the couch and started to flail his arms around. "I can't wait a _year_!"

"Well that's how long she was in stone for," Robin clarified for him. Larry nodded in agreement.

Beast Boy sat back down, all the excitement from the day slowly started to leave his body. He felt almost depressed again, as if Terra wasn't lurking around the tower with Raven and Starfire.

"But who knows," Cyborg started, "It could be shorter. You never know what true love can do." He teased, poking Beast Boy on the shoulder.

Beast Boy narrowed his eyes at the comment. If Terra couldn't even remember who he was, how in the world would she come to love him?

He sighed, letting Cyborg and Robin continue to tease him. He no longer found the strength to stop them.

"I'm shutting down." Cyborg yawned, placing his hand on the security system. "Security is up."

Terra looked around nervously when the lights went out abruptly. "What was that? Are we under attack?"

"No, no," Robin placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump a bit. "It does whenever Cyborg…" He trailed off, as Terra had already started to walk away from him.

"So where do I sleep? On the couch?" She asked Beast Boy, who blushed lightly by her acknowledgement of his presence.

"No, you have a room." He couldn't help but stare into her eyes. Her big blue eyes… He finally broke his trance. "Follow me."

Beast Boy led Terra down several hallways until they came to the room she had been given when she joined the team. They had never done anything with it – just let it be.

Terra, amazed by the automatic sliding door, finally walked inside and curled on her bed. She started to doze off, spying Beast Boy out of the corner of her eye. He was standing by her door, idle. It almost seemed as if he was looking after her, making sure she was all right.

"Hey," she called out to him, causing him to jump slightly. Once she got his attention, she asked, "Did I like you before…?"

Beast Boy felt his face heat up. He didn't want to sound self-indulgent, but he didn't want to lie either. "Yeah. We were good friends."

Terra smiled, closing her eyes again. "I think I remember liking you a lot."

He didn't know what to say, so he smiled. He flicked off her light and said in a hushed voice, "Night Terra."

Terra smiled after him, and then quickly fell asleep. Beast Boy exited her room, and headed for his own.

He didn't know what to think anymore. He wanted to hope for the best – that Terra would regain her memory quickly and that everything would go back to normal…

_Normal._ He thought, cringing slightly. _What is… normal?_


	4. Goodbye to You

Lost Memories

Terra stirred awake, trying to focus in on her surroundings. Where was she again? She suddenly felt panicky. Had she been kidnapped?

She snapped back into attention when she heard Cyborg lumber down the hall. She blinked a couple times.

_Right, I'm at Titans Tower_.

Terra hopped out of her bed and walked out of her room. She glanced down the hallway, trying to remember the way to get to the main living room. She closed her eyes and tried to visualize it. It all seemed so vague…

"Terra?" Raven walked over to her. "You're awake so early?"

Terra cocked her head. "What time is it?"

"Ten A.M."

She blinked a few more times. "Isn't that… late?"

Raven chuckled lightly. "It's called irony, Terra."

"Oh." Terra nodded. She then remembered what she was thinking about. "Uh, Rae, think you can direct me to the living room? I kinda forgot where it was."

Raven gestured for Terra to follow her. The two walked down a long hallway until they came to the living room. Robin and Cyborg were playing videogames, with Larry cheering like a cheerleader. Starfire and Beast Boy were nowhere to be found.

"No cheatin'!" Cyborg huffed when his car blew up.

"I didn't! I WON!" Robin pumped his fists in the air.

Larry clapped. "Robin, Robin, he's our man! If he can't do it-"

"CYBORG CAN!" Cyborg finished, quickly restarted the game, and beat Robin before he even had a chance to play.

"Now _that's _cheating," Robin said accusingly. Cyborg smiled innocently and then shut the game off.

"Can you teach me how to play?" Terra asked, sounding enthusiastic. "It seems like a really sick game."

Cyborg and Robin exchanged glances. Robin shrugged. "All right, we'll teach you later."

Terra cheered silently and then wandered over to the refrigerator to help herself. She then paused, wondering if she should be doing this. _If they wanted me to stop, they would say something._ She grinned and then picked out some leftover tofu.

Beast Boy walked out from God-Knows-Where and toward Robin, Cyborg and Larry. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Robin nodded toward Terra, who was pouring ketchup on tofu. "Seems like she's making herself at home."

Cyborg grimaced, sticking out his tongue. "A little _too_ at home. Who eats that crap anyway?"

Beast Boy narrowed his eyes. "_I_ eat that crap."

"With ketchup?"

He sighed in defeat. "So it's a little weird, but if you've forgotten, she has been trapped in stone for the past year!"

Cyborg shrugged thoughtfully and then walked away out of the living room. Robin glanced down toward Larry, who had suddenly started to sob madly.

"Uh... you okay there?"

Larry sniffed, wiping his eyes with the backside of his hand. "I have to go home…"

Robin smiled widely. "Really? How terrible!"

"I know, I know!" He sobbed louder. "I'm going to miss you so much DNA buddy!"

"Uh… when are you-" Beast Boy started, but was cut off by Terra, who shoving mouthfuls of tofu in her mouth.

"When are going home?" Terra asked, pausing to chew.

Larry stopped crying, and thought for a moment. He pouted. "I guess I have to leave now."

"Oh. Well, see you later!" Terra waved and then walked off. Beast Boy chased after her, finding it a great opportunity to escape the awkwardness of what was about to happen.

"Hey, Terra, I didn't know you liked tofu," he pointed to the bowl in her hands.

She nodded vigorously. "This stuff's great!"

He laughed weakly. "Even with ketchup?"

She nodded again. He made a mental note to try it out sometime.

The two continued to walk down the hallways in silence; the only noise was that of Terra chewing loudly. Beast Boy racked his mind for conversation starters. Nothing came to mind. He never thought well under pressure.

"You know, Beast Boy," Terra started, "I had a dream about you last night."

He felt his face heat up. "R-really?"

She nodded, but she wasn't smiling. "It wasn't a good dream, though. I mean, well… I was about to kill you with something, but I can't remember what. Then I turned around and I hit some other guy. It was odd, really."

Beast Boy stopped in his tracks. "T-Terra, that really happened."

"What?"

"I mean, the whole thing with you about to kill me. It happened." He saw her expression fall. "But the past is the past, and we're through it now, right?"

"Beast Boy," Terra started slowly, "Was I a bad guy?"

He nodded half-heartedly. "Yeah."

She frowned and then glanced at the ground. "But I thought I was a titan."

"You were, but then…" He trailed off. "You know what, it's not important. You're good again, and that's all that matters."

Terra pondered this for a moment, but then decided that Beast Boy was right – it was in the past. Even if the past was still hard to decipher.

But Terra knew that at one point in time, she was against them. The titans. Her friends. She wondered why, but then let it blow over.

That night, she had a dream about Slade, and suddenly her evil ways seemed to click.


	5. Two Seater

Lost Memories

Slade glanced around his surroundings, narrowed eyed, unaware. He spied the spot where Terra once stood in stone, and then groaned. She was no longer there.

In some ways, he had expected it. But in others, he expected her to stay there forever.

Slade had gotten out of his own fiery grave a few months before – he had been released by sources of greater evil, ones whom he now called master. When he left the cave, he had felt a fleeting sensation when he looked at Terra, an unexplainable one.

But now things were becoming clearer.

All of Terra's memories were suddenly his.

Slade could close his eyes, and try to picture a certain night, and there it would be. He didn't get why he had these images; at first they frightened him, but now he saw he could use them to his advantage.

Terra was out of stone. He was out of lava. And now she had no choice but to bow down before him, and serve him like the good little apprentice he tried to make her become.

Terra stared out the window, becoming lost in her own thoughts. The great blue sky, the mountains over the horizon… She felt a strange comfort when she looked at them.

The sky… The mountain… The ocean… The earth…

_The earth is my home!_

Terra grinned when she thought this. The earth _was_ her home. But was that meant literally? Or that she simply lived on earth?

She placed her hand to her forehead, feeling a headache come on. It happened whenever she thought too much, whenever she tried to remember things. Robin had come in her room the night before, when she was suffering from another headache, and told her that.

Robin… Her face flushed at the thought of him. Was she sure that she liked Beast Boy? She could've sworn that Robin and her were closer…

"Terra?" Beast Boy popped his head in her room. "Are you coming? We all made lunch for you."

Terra whipped her head around, smiling gently at him. "Thanks, BB. I'll be there in a minute."

Beast Boy nodded, blushing slightly. He then closed the door again, leaving Terra alone.

Terra closed her eyes again, and a picture of Beast Boy materialized in her mind. He was gripping onto something… a rock perhaps? He was saying something… begging something…

Just like that, a picture of Slade replaced Beast Boy. He was sneering down at her, yelling, calling her a coward. A few nights ago, she had come to understand that she was once evil, but now, she was confused again. _Why_ was she evil? Especially if she was a titan!

Terra opened her eyes and exhaled deeply, deciding to think about it later. Maybe she would ask Robin or Beast Boy.

Just maybe.


	6. Behind Blue Eyes

Lost Memories

"Three months ago," Cyborg started, raising his glass, "We visited you, drowning in our own miseries. But thanks to the somewhat helpfulness of Larry, you are now free! To Terra! In hopes that this time, she will join our happily ever after!"

"To Terra!" The Titans echoed, Raven half-heartedly. She had gotten used to Terra around, getting a lot of attention, but whenever she looked at her… The sensation of Slade still cloaked her. Something was going on in Terra's mind, something plaguing her, and Raven was almost afraid to find out what.

"So Terra, how much can you remember?" Robin asked, grinning slightly.

"Uh, not much more. Just a few things… Things I'd rather not remember…" Terra muttered, embarrassed with herself. "It's frustrating sometimes, like this should be going faster."

"At least you can comprehend that," Raven said under her breath, taking a sip of water.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing." _Seems like she can't comprehend sarcasm. _Raven smirked at her wittiness.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes at Raven. He blushed lightly when he noticed that Terra was staring at him. "You okay?"

Terra shook her head, a light shade of red creeping across her face. "Oh! I'm fine! I just spaced out there!"

Cyborg grinned. "Hey Ter, how would you like to meet the Titans East?"

"There's more of you?"

"Well, yeah. I guess you could say that," he explained, tripping over his own words.

"Slow it down a bit, Cyborg," Robin said. He turned to Terra, "Instead, how would like to train with us tomorrow morning?"

"Train with you? I can barely remember who you guys are sometimes," Terra said bashfully.

"We'd like to see what your skills can do. How about it?" Robin urged.

Terra considered his proposal for a moment. She was being given the chance to rejoin the Teen Titans, or at least train with them. She let a small smile slide on her face. "All right, sounds wicked."

"You got who out of what now?" Bumblebee raised her eyebrow, puzzled.

Cyborg sighed in a frustrated manner. "We got _Terra_ out of _stone_ a couple months ago. I tried to tell you earlier, but uh…"

"Too flustered around me?" She said easily. Cyborg blushed lightly.

"You could say that." He cleared his throat. "So… are we…?"

"Dating?" Bumblebee grinned. "Sure, why not Sparky. But to make it final, how about you take me out this Saturday?"

He nodded eagerly. "Sounds good. I'll meet you there or what?"

She placed a finger on her chin. "How about… you come here."

Cyborg grinned and then bid her farewell. He turned off his communicator and sighed contently.

Now he knew what Beast Boy felt whenever he saw Terra.

Terra placed the bowl to her lips and drank its contents – hot soup Beast Boy had made her. She turned to him and smiled, nodding approvingly. He was always so kind to her – she felt kind of bad that she didn't exactly feel the same way about him.

Sure, Beast Boy was funny and sweet… Everything a girl could want. But something was nagging her inside. Terra _tried_ to like him, she honestly did, but something stopped her from fantasizing about him.

And it was too complicated to explain.

She closed her eyes and pictured him in her mind; a smile curled on her lips. But then, his face went dark, and images of cliffs and sharp, jagged rocks filled his place. She snapped her eyes open.

There was something significant about those formations, but she couldn't place her finger on it. Suddenly, she felt a headache coming on.

"Ter, you okay?" Beast Boy asked in a concerned manner.

"I'm all right, just my head hurts," Terra tried not to sound too pained. Her attempt failed.

"You want a cold washcloth? That's what helps me. I mean, after a training session like this morning. Did I mention you were awesome?" He scrambled around for a spare washcloth. "Fast too. You rock. Now, where did I put that-"

"Beast Boy, it's okay," she told him, sounding a little too hostile, "I don't need anything. It'll pass."

"Are you sure?" He felt his expression (and heart) fall.

Terra hopped up from her seat and said hastily, "Yes, I'm sure." She then stormed out of the room, leaving Beast Boy stunned, and sort of heartbroken.

Beast Boy couldn't explain her actions more than she could. _She's just frustrated,_ He told himself. _Training with us for the first time in a while. It must put a lot of stress on her. That's it. She doesn't hate me. She's just aggravated. _

_I'll check on her later. Maybe bring her some tofu with ketchup._

Terra stormed up to her room and ran to her sacred spot, her windowsill. She placed her hand to her forehead, feeling it throb. This was a first. Usually it just hurt.

It had been three months, as Cyborg had told her. She had only remembered so much… And so much was never enough.

_I'm just never gonna be good enough for you, am I!_

When the pain began to cease, Terra determined that tomorrow, or maybe later, she would tell Beast Boy that she was sorry for snapping at him. After all, he was only trying to help.

She glanced out the window, feeling a floaty feeling in her chest whenever his name resided in her mind. In her memory. Beast Boy. She smiled at the thought and bowed her head. She could almost imagine how dumb she looked.

_I have to be bipolar or something. Just a few minutes ago I didn't like him… Like I him now. _She frowned at her wording, puzzled.

Terra spied a mountainside out of the corner of her eye. A rock jutted out of it, causing a cave to form on the inside. She thought nothing of it, until a figure appeared in the broad daylight, and stared back at her.

Slade.

He did nothing; something she wasn't expecting. He stood, staring at her, acknowledging her. He raised his hand toward her, and closed his eyes. A chill ran up her spine. Suddenly, his voice echoed in her mind.

Come to me, Terra. Don't try running away this time. Wherever you go, I'll be right there with you.

Terra stayed, frozen in her spot. Her mouth hung open slightly. How did he do that?

She jumped off the windowsill, slamming her window shut. The chills still resided, and the headache was worsening.

Don't hide from me, Terra.

Terra screamed, her hands on her head. "GET OUT OF MY MIND! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Beast Boy burst into her room, looking around wildly. He felt his heart rate nearly triple at the thought of Terra being in trouble. But when he glanced around, there was no one to be found.

Terra was on her knees, slouched over. Her fingers locked on her head, her nails digging into her skin. She shut her eyes tight, so tight it hurt. She was alone… Slade had to be gone… He had to…

"TERRA!"

She snapped awake, looking around her surroundings. She was on her bed, in Beast Boy's arms.

"Terra, what happened? Is everything all right? Who was here?" Beast Boy asked frantically. "Who hurt you? I'll kill them."

Terra felt a strange security being in his arms. She leaned in to his embrace and muttered, "No one. I thought I heard someone talking to me, but no one was there."

"Are you sure no one was around?" She nodded. "Well… maybe it was a bad dream."

"Hopefully," She used the same tired tone. Terra pulled away from him, and pushed a strand of hair of her face. "Thanks for caring, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy blushed. "N-No problem." He then stood up and headed for her door. Just before he left, he told her, "If you need anything at all, I'll be there for you."

Terra waved after him, feeling herself start to swoon. Amazing how so much can change in a day.


	7. Brain Stew

Lost Memories

Slade paced around his cave, arms behind his back, a small grin forming on his face.

It worked. He was able to control Terra's thoughts.

The possibilities of what he could do with her were endless. Should he bring her back to his side? Or should he drive her insane? Perhaps even turn her against the titans?

All the options sounded good.

He walked out of his cave toward the mountainside, where he had an excellent view of Terra's room. There she was, on her bed, reading something. He closed his eyes, smiling evilly.

"Hello Terra." He mouthed. Terra jumped slightly. "I know you can hear me. So listen good."

Terra leaped off her bed and looked around her room wildly. She yelled something aloud, but he was too far away to hear it.

"The titans are not your friends. They may give you hospitality now, but soon enough the past will repeat itself." He grinned. "If you can remember what the past is."

Terra ran to the window, and spied him. She pointed an accusing finger at him and bellowed, "YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE DOING THIS TO ME!"

Slade found it amazing that her voice could echo like that. "So I am, child."

Her face flushed, and she turned on her heel and ran. To get Beast Boy or Robin, most likely.

Slade cackled to himself, and then decided to leave Terra alone for the day. He disappeared back into his cave, with one last whisper, "You can run, but you can't hide."

Terra dragged Beast Boy behind her, slightly shaking. She pushed him toward her window and yelled, "There he is! Slade! He's doing it again!"

Beast Boy, still a little perplexed what he "it" was, he glanced out the window, and then raised his eyebrow. "Terra, there's no one there."

"But I swear he was-!"

"Terra, are you okay?" He asked calmly. "You're not going crazy on me, are you?"

Terra stared at him with blank eyes. How could he say that? "But, he was there! Just now! He must've left when I got you!"

Beast Boy didn't know what to think. "Okay, Ter. Next time he's there just call for me, and I'll come."

"Thanks." She hugged him. "At least I know who I can trust around here."

He pulled away, feeling slightly guilty. "Yeah, me too."

Terra waved after Beast Boy as he left her room, and then sat up on the windowsill, gazing skyward. She had a pit feeling that he didn't believe her, but boy… How dumb will he feel when he sees Slade next time?

She smiled slightly. Everything was going back to, what she hoped to be, normal. She had done several training sessions with the titans, and even went on a bust with them once. Although she didn't do much, Terra felt like it was an improvement from the life of confusion she lived not too long ago.

She gazed toward the mountainside, seeing nothing but the cave's beckoning darkness. In a voice, unfamiliar to her own, she muttered, "Four months and counting."


	8. Crazy

Lost Memories

Beast Boy stood, idle, feeling a slight sensation of déjà vu. Too many times in the past had he stood as so, hesitating, trying to forget.

But this wasn't something that he could shrug off and ignore – if something was really going on, than Terra could be in real trouble. And even if there wasn't, Terra could still be in trouble.

Although it seemed like he had to open his mouth and say something, Beast Boy was never the one to speak out about delicate situations, not without someone else to back him up.

And now he had to do it on his own.

Right now.

…Maybe in another minute.

No. Right now. Now or never. Come on.

"Hey BB." Cyborg raised his eyebrow. "You okay? You look like you're gonna be sick."

Beast Boy shrugged thoughtfully, slowly approaching Cyborg and Robin, who were both leaning on the couch casually, talking about God-Only-Knows.

"So…" Beast Boy started. He couldn't bring himself to speak any more.

"So." Robin echoed. "You sure you're okay?"

"I…" He hesitated again, inhaling deeply. "I think something's wrong with Terra."

Cyborg chuckled. "Well yeah, she still doesn't have all of her memory back."

Beast Boy narrowed his eyes. "Not that. Something else."

Robin and Cyborg suddenly looked concerned. "What is it?"

He felt like he had choked on his tongue again – the words rose in his throat, but couldn't make their way out. Finally, he blurted, "Terra says that Slade is talking to her."

"Talking to her? That's impossible," Robin said easily, "He's dead, remember? Terra killed him herself." Cyborg nodded in agreement.

"It's happened a couple of times now. Terra will start screaming about voices in her head and then run to get me and by the time I'm there there's no one there," Beast Boy explained, speaking a little fast.

Robin and Cyborg exchanged glances. Beast Boy slapped his hand to his forehead. The way he said it made it sound as if she was schizophrenic.

But maybe she is. Maybe it's just the memory of Slade haunting her, like what happened with Robin…

"When did this start happening?" Robin asked cautiously.

"About two weeks ago was the first time she got me. It's happened about three more times since then."

Robin and Cyborg exchanged glances again, but this time both sighed.

"I think she might have some mental condition. We'll test her for it if it happens again." Robin turned to walk away, but Beast Boy cut him off.

"But what if it's actually happening?"

Robin shrugged. "It's not, so there's nothing to worry about. I just want to test her to make sure she's not crazy or anything."

"But Robin! She was trapped in stone for a year! A YEAR! Doesn't that count for anything?" Beast Boy yelled desperately.

Robin stopped once again, and then eyed the green changeling. "We'll find out when we test her."

"But…" Beast Boy trailed off, watching as Robin engaged Starfire in conversation, and as Cyborg walked off just to escape the awkwardness of the situation.

Beast Boy let his head drop, and then turned to walk toward his own room. Because of him, Terra now had to undergo testing for schizophrenia and God knows what else!

_Why do I talk to people?_


	9. Weird Science

Lost Memories

Terra lay on her bed, holding a silver heart-shaped box in her hands. She had found it hidden away in one of the hall closets (were they even hall closets? She had to stop thinking so much). When she opened it, her reflection glittered on the inside. Her face lit up.

"It's beautiful," She said in awe. It then occurred to her that it was possible that it wasn't hers, and that she probably shouldn't even have it in her possession. But it was gorgeous… she wanted it. Whoever got it was one lucky chick.

"Terra? You awake?" Beast Boy's voice interrupted her trance. Terra quickly hid the box under her bed and then nodded furiously, as if he were in the room with her.

"Um, yeah, come on in."

Beast Boy entered, looking somehow anxious and disheveled. He wrung his hands nervously, trying to assemble the words that would most make sense.

Take one: Robin and Cyborg think you're crazy so they wanna hook you up to a bunch of machines just to make sure you won't foam at the mouth and kill us all.

Take two: Hey, Ter… you like science right? Well Robin and Cyborg have this new machine they want you to test out. All you have to do is lie down while they stick a bunch of monitors on you. Doesn't that sound exciting?

Take three: Robin wants you downstairs. He has something to tell you.

"So… what's up?" Terra asked cautiously. She noticed how fidgety Beast Boy seemed and tried to think of all the possible scenarios that could occur. A date? Or maybe he wants her out of the team?

Beast Boy hesitated, fumbling with his words. "Uh… Robin… uh… are you… um…?"

Terra raised her eyebrow. "Are you okay, B?"

He shook his head lightly. "No, and I don't think you are either."

"What… do you mean?"

"Remember when you said Slade was haunting you?"

"Yeah. He's, like, trying to persuade me to the bad side or something like that."

"Well, Robin and Cyborg… um… you know that's not normal right?" Beast Boy stumbled over his words.

Terra nodded. "Yeah, I suppose so."

He sighed, but in what matter was debatable. "Follow me."

* * *

"What's all this for?" Terra asked, eyeing the machinery suspiciously. 

Robin grinned like a parent would to a toddler. "Just lay down and we'll do all the work."

"Yeah, clear your mind, relax. Think happy thoughts," Cyborg concurred.

Terra nodded slowly, unsurely. Finally, she lay down on the hard, almost metal bed and closed her eyes. She could feel Robin and Cyborg placing something on her body, all over her body. She half-wondered whether or not they were going to rape her in some fashion, but then let the thoughts pass. They weren't like that.

Or were they? She hadn't been there for that long, although at times six months may seem like a while. Half a year. Is half a year all it takes? No, it couldn't be. Even though she got all their names and personalities down, she still couldn't remember her past, what exactly had happened with Slade. Terra exhaled deeply. She was getting herself anxious, and becoming anxious could only screw something up.

_Or maybe it could make things… better._

Terra shot up in the bed, her heart racing. Slade! He was… She glanced around at everyone's confused looks, deciding that maybe it was her imagination.

Or was it? It sounded so real…

"Are you okay?" Robin asked in a concerned manner. He glanced over to Raven before Terra could answer. Raven shook her head, looking somewhat disgusted.

"I'm… fine. I just… thought I… Never mind it was nothing." Terra stammered, lying back down. She closed her eyes, trying to relax, which was hard when she knew what she thought could possibly have some sort of effect on her future.

_Then don't think. I'll just think for you._

Terra squirmed, trying not to show discomfort. Maybe if she ignored him he would go away.

_That won't work, child. I am everywhere. I am with you all the time. I will never "go away"._

_Now then, why don't you be a good little girl and come to me. They don't want you here. You are only their pet. They're not your friends, and never were. Don't you remember, Terra? We were always very good friends._

"STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Terra howled. She tried to shoot up in her bed, but was held down by ropes of some sort. She struggled to get free, shouting for help. She tried to focus, but it felt as if the scene was flashing before her. Robin and Raven were checking something on the screen, Starfire was trying to calm her, Cyborg and Beast Boy looked like they were on guard.

"She's not safe! Something's going on!" Robin yelled to the others, who looked slightly concerned.

_I'm here, Terra. Don't fight your past._

"NO!" Terra screeched. She felt herself become light headed, weak, and then closed her eyes. The last thing she heard before she passed out was:

"Calm down Terra! If you don't you might… I don't wanna lose you again! I love you!"

* * *

Terra opened her eyes, her head pounding. She slowly sat up, pricking herself on a jagged rock nearby. 

_Sharp rocks? Is that lava? I'm not at Titan's Tower! Where am I?_

"You are with me Terra," a deep voice said, emerging from the shadows. "And this time, I'll make sure that you don't leave me."


	10. Help!

Lost Memories

Robin loved being a superhero. He loved the thrill of catching the enemy, and the natural high of doing the right thing. His favorite villain? Slade. You could almost say he was passionate about catching the masked man, and felt at his peak whenever he was winning in battle.

But when Terra had conformed to Slade's ways and became his apprentice, fighting Slade no longer seemed to be a game. It was a hunt. He truly knew how evil Slade was, and could not let another be forced to match to his ways, even if that person did betray them.

So when Terra disappeared in a fit of screams, frightened and alone in her mind, Robin knew that Slade had come back for her. It didn't matter what he had thought before, and whether he believes his own words.

Slade is back from the dead, and now he's taken Terra again.

"Where'd she go!" Beast Boy asked frantically, flailing his arms around. "Who took her? What's going on? Is she going to be okay?"

"Slade," Robin said simply, narrowing his eyes. The other titans stared at him, unsure of how to react. "He jumped through the window and blinded us with smoke of some sort. Then he took Terra and ran."

"No!" Beast Boy hollered, stamping his foot. "No, no, no! You're wrong! Slade can't be back!"

"B, calm down." Cyborg placed his hand on the green changeling's shoulder. "I know it's hard to believe, but… It happened."

"Yes, and we will not let him get away with it!" Starfire clenched her fists.

"What if Terra had this arranged with Slade?" Raven spoke, suddenly catching everyone's glance. "Who knows what's been going on with her? Maybe this is what she wanted."

"She was _screaming_," Beast Boy said, rage penting up inside of him. "And every time he talked to her in… in her mind, she called for me." Raven looked at him in disbelief. "It's true, Rae. Just because _you_ don't like her doesn't mean that every theory you throw out about her is true."

"Don't question me."

"Friends! Don't fight!" Starfire frowned slightly.

"Yeah, tensions are high and all, but this is getting us nowhere." Cyborg concurred. "We need a plan."

The team looked to Robin, who looked as if he were in deep thought. Finally he slapped his hands together and said, "All right, team, here's what we're gonna do…"

* * *

Terra looked around her surroundings cautiously, and for what seemed to be the millionth time. It seemed to hold some sort of intangible nostalgia… something she couldn't tap in to.

She felt in danger, yet so secure.

"Who are you?" Terra finally spoke.

The man wavered for a minute, then finally answered, "I am the answer to all of your pleas."

"What pleas? I was happy at titan's tower!"

"Were you?" Terra thought for a moment. She had friends there, was learning to control her powers again, and was slowly beginning to remember her past. And then, there was Beast Boy. He was so sweet…

"Yes, yes I was," She answered confidently. "Now take me back."

The man shook his head, chuckling slightly. "I don't think so, Terra."

Terra stood up, staring directly at him. "What do you want with me?"

He shrugged. "What can you remember of me, of us?"

"Nothing."

"That's a lie."

She felt her chest tighten. Did he really know, or was he playing mind games with her?

Mind games… "Slade!" She gasped. "You…!"

"I." He said simply, stepping closer to her. "Do you remember what we did together?" She shook her head. "We did great things, dear. We were powerful. Together, we were unstoppable."

Terra hesitated. Was he telling the truth? "R-really?"

"Oh yes." He grinned. "We were then, and we could be now."

She felt herself become sucked into his lies, wanting to hear more. Was this her real past? What sort of key did he hold?

"Now then, what do you say? How would you like to step onto the path of greatness once again?"

She felt her airwaves close, unable to speak, unable to think. She wanted to say no, but at the same time, she wanted to say yes.

_He's evil, he's evil, he's evil. Don't listen to him. Just… get out of there! _

Slade grinned. _That's right, you have to fight for yourself, because the titans will never come to your rescue._

And that's when everything went black.


	11. Love is a Battlefield

Lost Memories

"I've got a lock." Robin glanced up from his communicator. "Apparently Terra had her communicator on her when she got kidnapped."

The other titans looked to their leader with apprehension. Finally, Robin spoke, "She's in the same cave where her statue stood."

He let the words sink in, unable to predict how it would affect his teammates, if at all. Beast Boy wavered, unsure of how to feel. So many emotions were rushing through him, trying to scramble up his throat. "What are we waiting for?" He managed to crack out. "Let's go."

* * *

Slade stepped on rock after rock, unconvinced of where he was going. Was he still underground? In the same place? Yes, he had to be. He recognized these surroundings.

Terra stirred, as if from a plentiful sleep. Her voice cracked when she spoke. "Where… Who… What's going on?"

"Nothing," he said simply, staring at the teen in his arms. "We're taking a little trip, is all."

"Oh."

Slade hadn't expected such an agreeable answer – more of a fight, perhaps. But he could live with her permissiveness; maybe use it to his advantage.

"Do you remember who I am?" He asked cautiously, placing her down on the ground.

She nodded. "Slade. My friend, right?"

_She's confused._ Slade grinned. _She must have myself and the titans switched in her mind._

"Exactly. Do you remember who the Teen Titans are?"

Terra hesitated, but then narrowed her eyes. "They tried to stop us, didn't they? They're bad people."

Slade felt so jovial he wanted to dance.

"But… wait… that doesn't sound right…"

_Damn. I guess I expected it to come to me too easily._

"The titans are my friends… Good people… Took me in, gave me a home…"

Slade spoke, "Then who am I?"

Terra paused, caught in her own mind trap. "…My friend? But how can that be?" She pressed her hand on her forehead. "Ugh, I'm so confused. My brain hurts."

"Then don't think, child. I'll do your thinking for you."

"Um, thanks, I guess."

He decided to take advantage of her state. "So, you're my friend, right?"

Terra nodded. "Yes, I think so."

"Will you fight by my side?"

She shrugged. "I guess so. I did before, I mean." She scrunched up her face. "You _are_ good, right?"

"It depends on your perception of good."

Terra stood up, taking Slade's hand in hers. "So if you're _my_ friend, do you think you can tell me where I am?"

Slade tightened the grip on her hand and grinned evilly. "Like I said before child, it does not matter. We are taking a trip. Now come with me… our home is calling."

* * *

"I can't find her anywhere!" Cyborg said in a frustrated manner. "I've been around this cave three times. There's no one here!"

Beast Boy clenched his fists. "Then why the hell did she appear on your communicator, _Robin!_"

Robin flipped it open, then shut again. "She should be here. Maybe she's hiding."

"I think I found her." Raven appeared, a communicator in her hands. "Or rather, what she left behind."

The titans looked to Beast Boy, who looked as if he was going to explode. "DAMMIT! Where is she!"

"Beast Boy, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be o-"

"Don't tell me everything's going to be okay!" He snapped at Robin. "Because obviously it's not! Terra's gone! With Slade! Who knows what he's been telling her! Who knows if she's evil again!" He collapsed on the ground, sobbing into his hands. "Why is it whenever we become close, she leaves me? Does this always happen when you're… you're in love?"

Robin and Starfire caught each other's glance, but then looked away. Cyborg cleared his throat, flustered before even speaking. Raven looked toward the ground.

"B… we've all been jilted in some way." Cyborg spoke softly. "It's hard for me and Bumblebee. She lives on the other side on the country. Who knows what she's doing out there."

"With Malchior… He was evil. He never wanted me. He played with my heart and then left," Raven used the same time, feeling tears begin to well in her eyes.

"And when my sister tried to betroth me… but I didn't because I knew there was someone else for me." Starfire caught Robin's eye.

"You see… it's all about trust. Terra knows that you care for her, so maybe Slade is just running with her. Maybe she's trying to escape and come back to you," Robin explained. "Love hurts, Beast Boy. Don't lose hope, because when you do, she will as well."

Beast Boy remained, staring at the ground that almost held his fate. And at one point, held her fate as well. He thought back to the house of mirrors, when Terra first revealed herself as a spy for Slade. He had been crushed. She was evil, yet she loved him. Or did she? And did she really kill his friends?

No, she didn't. And maybe she _was_ truly sorry. But he didn't give her a chance… He lost hope… So she did too, and continued to fight for Slade.

"It's all my fault," he finally spoke, standing up. "This entire mess is my fault! If I hadn't have been so stubborn that one night than she would have never stayed with Slade! But no!" He slapped his head.

"Beast Boy, this isn't your fault." Cyborg grabbed the green changeling's hands. "So many other things provoked this. If you keep looking back, you can blame this on almost anyone. One little mistake in the past can affect your whole future."

"But she doesn't have her past straightened out," Beast Boy whispered, "She doesn't fully remember everything. She doesn't remember us or Slade or… me."

"Which is why we have to find them and break Slade's grip on her, if he has any at all," Robin added quickly. "Team, split up and search the town. She's got to be around here somewhere."

When the others had left the cave, Beast Boy continued to stand in his spot, feeling just as idle as that time, now five months ago, he last saw Terra standing in stone.

_One little mistake in the past can affect your whole future…_

Terra was so vulnerable. She's only been out of her stone prison for five months, not even half a year. Slade could have every advantage of taking her back.

Beast Boy bit his finger, restraining himself from crying again. He started for the exit, feeling as if he had lost all weight in his body. But that wouldn't stop him from looking. No, he couldn't make that same mistake again. He couldn't…

He didn't want the past to become her future yet again.


	12. Beautiful Stranger

Lost Memories

"…And now she's gone again?" Bumblebee raised her eyebrow, unsure of what she just heard. "Why not just put a leash on the girl?"

"Bee, this isn't something to joke about." Cyborg furrowed his brow. "She's been gone for a month. I think Beast Boy's given up all hope; he hasn't left his room in weeks."

Bumblebee frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry… I didn't know she was gone for _that_ long. And you've searched everywhere?"

Cyborg nodded. "Robin's been up every night till nearly two A.M. looking from the computer. He's found nothing. Slade is gone, and he's taken Terra with him."

She didn't know how to react to this. She had never known Terra, but she knew that she meant a lot to the team. Terra was almost like their experiment – what would she do in a crisis? Who would she go to for help? As cruel as it may sound, that's how they presented her. And like any experiment, they wanted the result to come out in their favor.

Their favor being the regain of her trust.

"Okay Sparky, so what do you want me to do about this?" Bumblebee asked, breaking Cyborg out of his trance.

"When can you get your team out here?"

"Well, not _all_ of us can leave. However, I can scoot Aqualad out here with me."

"When?"

"Anytime you need."

Cyborg smiled, relieved, "How about right now?"

* * *

Beast Boy sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. He felt heavy, like he had packed on the pounds, rather than lost them. Using all his strength, he sat up in his bed, and glanced toward the window. The shades were drawn, leaving his room dark.

The team hadn't give up looking for Terra. They were all still determined to find her. Sure, he was too, but there was something nagging him… Something he couldn't ignore. The night in the house of mirrors continued to haunt him.

What would have happened if he had trusted her? Let her come back home with him? Fought harder to make sure Slade didn't take her away?

Someone knocked on the door, breaking his train of thought. "Come in," he croaked. Beast Boy made a mental note to at least drink some water.

The door slid open, revealing Bumblebee. "Hey there. When's the last time you saw the light of day?"

Beast Boy smirked. "Nice seeing you too."

"Seriously, what's going on?"

His expression fell. "Nothing."

"How come you're not helping the others look for Terra?"

He suddenly became defensive. "I'm looking."

"From your room? I've heard you haven't gone anywhere in weeks."

"Yeah, well…" Beast Boy hesitated in answering. He had hardly talked to Bumblebee before. And now, he would be telling her something that was so fragile to him. Was it safe?

"I don't bite, BB." Bumblebee smirked at her own joke. "And I'm not leaving until I hear what's going on with you."

For one year, the titans had left him to mourn, doing almost nothing about his "condition". For one year, they let him do whatever, eat whatever. For one year, it almost seemed like the titans were avoiding him and didn't even care.

But here was a not-so known titan, one of whom he'd barely conversed with. Did she come to talk to him on her own? Or did the others send her? It didn't matter to him – at least someone was aggressive enough to try.

"I just think that… this whole mess is my fault. Terra wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. So I figure if I stay out of it, nothing bad will happen. The other titans know what they're doing more than I do."

Bumblebee narrowed her eyes. "BB, that's not true. You know Terra the best, you know what's been going on in her mind; the others don't. If you back out of this mission, it's like you're backing out from her. I mean, if they rescue Terra and you're not there, what is she going to think?"

Beast Boy remained silent. He felt the familiar sting of oncoming tears begin to rise.

"She'll think that you don't care about. And to that girl," she turned on her heel toward the door, "that'd be devastating. Now, if you are done, we got your girlfriend to find."

Beast Boy stared as Bumblebee disappeared from his glance. She was right. Terra would think that she hated him. Or does she already? Who knows what Slade's been telling her?

But he didn't want to take that risk. He didn't want to see her end up hurt again, or even worse, in stone again.

After a few more moments, Beast Boy stood up and exited his room, suddenly more determined than ever.

* * *

Terra stumbled over what seemed like the millionth rock/stump that day. She had wandering around in the woods for hours, trying to find some form of human civilization. She had found nothing.

She stopped, collapsing on top of a convenient stone. She sighed, pulled her shoe off, and began to fish for loose rocks. All the while, she began to wonder what Slade was doing.

_No, forget about him. He's not your friend. He betrayed you. He… hurt you._

She closed her eyes and cringed, remembering their short time together. According to Slade, it has been half a year since her accident. Half a year since she made the biggest mistake of her life. But it didn't feel like an accident, or a mistake.

Terra placed her shoe back on, and then stood back up. She began to regain her pace again, trying to put those memories behind her, no matter how much they nagged at her. Perhaps if she sped up, she could run from her memories. After all, there was no harm in trying.


	13. Walk Away Maybe

Lost Memories

Terra clutched her stomach in pain and moaned. How long had it been since she last had something real to eat?

_Not long… just a few days… But those fruits I found should have been good, right?_

It had been one month since she had left Slade behind in her wild attempt at running away from who she was, who she used to be. And now it's been seven months since she was freed from her stony prison. Everything seemed to become more and more clear. Her past made sense. Everything the titans had said to her made sense. Except for a few things… her evil side still seemed to be foggy, as if it were trying to be hidden.

Is that it, then? Maybe it's not her hunger killing her. Maybe it's her mind, her memory. She wanted some way to be sure. What sort of memory could be killing her? What could disturb her that much?

Terra started to feel the pain subside, and managed to stand straight. She took several deep breaths, and then began her gait again, toward what she hoped to be Titan's Tower.

_If Beast Boy were out here, he would help me… He'd keep me company… Not like Slade, who just wanted to use me…_

And in a split second, Terra was on the ground again, doubled over in pain.


	14. Hysteria

Lost Memories

"Where is she?" Beast Boy demanded, crossing his arms. It's been months since they last saw her, and at this point, he was all out of patience and understanding.

"BB, we can't find her. She left her communicator behind, so we can't track her like that," Robin explained.

"And no one in town's seen her," Bumblebee chirped.

Beast Boy bit his lip, restraining himself from yelling outwardly. How is it possible that they, the Teen Titans, couldn't find one missing person? There were seven of them – she was one. The concept wasn't hard to grasp.

Aqualad appeared, looking tired and wet. He collapsed on the ground in front of them, panting slightly. Suddenly, Beast Boy's stomach churned. Aqualad knew something.

"Well, any luck?" Cyborg finally asked, breaking the tension-filled silence.

Aqualad looked up, his expression stern. "Yeah, I found her all right."

"Joyous!" Starfire beamed, clapping. "This is wonderful news!"

The sodden teen grimaced, shaking his head. "Ah, guys, I don't know how to say this…"

Beast Boy clutched his stomach. Something bad was going to happen. He felt sick. He needed to lie down.

"What is it?" Robin spoke quietly. Did she go back with Slade? What was going on?

Aqualad hesitated in answering. He stood up, wiping the residue from his arms, trying to use any excuse to procrastinate. Finally, he took a deep breath and began, "I was swimming down by the edge of town, y'know, by the forest. I was starting to become a little winded, so I jumped out and began to walk around. I found this pond; it didn't look too healthy. It was full of scum and dirt… it looked gross. I was about to turn around and head back into the ocean when…" He trailed off.

"When what?" Raven demanded. Even she seemed to be a little shaken up by the drama.

"I saw Terra. She was lying on the ground, her arm in the pond. I don't know how I missed her at first glance, with her bright hair and all. So naturally I figured I could wake her up and take her home but…" He paused, trying to figure out how to word it. "But… when I got a closer look, she was pretty beaten up. Her arms and legs were all scuffed up, and she had a pretty nasty blow to her head."

"Is… Is she okay?" Robin managed to ask. He glanced over toward Beast Boy, who looked to be holding himself, staring off in a different direction.

Aqualad exhaled deeply. "I don't know how to break this delicately, so here goes: From what I found…" He hesitated. "Terra's dead, you guys."

Starfire gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth. "Oh my… Really?"

He nodded, slowly, cautiously. "Yeah."

Cyborg glanced to Robin, who looked as if he were inspecting his feet. "We should go get her body, then. Give her a funeral or something…" He muttered off, becoming less and less understandable.

Robin nodded in agreement. "That's a good idea. C'mon team; let's go get into the T-Sub. Aqualad, you think you can lead us there?"

Aqualad nodded. "Sure."

The team walked back inside the tower, leaving Beast Boy behind. The green changeling stared at the water; he felt numb, nothing at all. He leaned forward, spying his reflection in the water.

Terra… dead? How could it be? What had happened with Slade? Did she kill herself? Did he kill her? What was going on?

No, it couldn't be. Terra can't be dead. It's impossible. They were supposed to find her, bring her back to the tower, and live happily ever after. This wasn't supposed to happen. It couldn't. It can't.

And even if she is… Why can't he feel anything? Beast Boy stared at himself; his expression was somber, yet he felt no tears, no emotion. He pinched himself in a desperate attempt to feel something. Nothing.

"BB, you coming?" Cyborg called. Beast Boy glanced in his direction. He tried to nod, but couldn't bring himself to. He just stared like a mindless idiot.

"B… You okay?" Cyborg asked. _Of course he's not okay… he just lost Terra… again…_

"You don't have to come," Robin told him. "You can stay here if you wanna. Actually, it might be better if you do."

Beast Boy continued to stare mindlessly. He did want to go; he wanted to see Terra, dead or alive. But still, he couldn't bring himself to move.

Robin took his unresponsive attitude as a yes, and the team took off, leaving the changeling behind. Beast Boy wanted to jump up and yell for them to wait, but he couldn't.

He managed to swing his head around, staring at his reflection again. He didn't recognize the being staring back at him.

_Terra's gone. She's actually gone, and she's not coming back. Not now, not ever. You won't ever see her again. _

_But I never got to tell her that I love her._

And with that, Beast Boy squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears flow freely.


	15. Jumpin' Jack Flash

Lost Memories

Aqualad stepped out from the water, ushering the other titans to follow him. He seemed to float through the forest, taking light, quick steps, as if he were going to disturb something. After several minutes, Aqualad turned to the others, looking somewhat frightened.

"I saw her through these trees. Now I don't want any of you to be alarmed when you see her, so I will warn you once again – she is very beaten up."

"Let's just get her and go," Robin muttered, sounding almost lifeless. He couldn't keep his mind off Beast Boy, and how this must be affecting him. How _could_ it feel to lose the person you love twice? He closed his eyes, and tried to picture himself. The outcome didn't look good. What if Beast Boy's emotions were too much for him to handle? What if he tried to…?

"Wait!" Robin shouted, stopping the others from walking. "I want someone to get back home with Beast Boy."

The others eyed him for a moment. Starfire raised her hand. "I will go keep our friend company."

Before she could fly away, he added, "Make sure he doesn't do anything to himself… We don't want two titans gone."

Starfire nodded and then took off. Robin turned his attention back to the mission at hand. "All right. Let's see her."

Aqualad nodded, and then pushed his way through the bushes separating them from Terra. He clenched his fists at what he saw.

"Slade!" Cyborg sneered, knocking his through the crowd. "Put her down!"

Slade shook his head, cradling Terra in his arms. "I have plans for her. And besides, I have to teach her a lesson for running away from me."

"Were you the one who beat her up?" Bumblebee accused, pointing her finger at him.

Slade stood, still holding Terra in his arms. He let a small smile slide on to his face. "The girl doesn't listen. So to make her pay attention, I make her pay." He then grabbed a small orb from his back and threw it on the ground, releasing a cloud of smoke and dust. When the debris cleared, he was gone.

"Cyborg and Bumblebee, go home and tell Beast Boy and Starfire what happened. The others, come with me!" Robin ordered.

Cyborg raised his eyebrow. "But what do we tell them? That Slade took Terra and is going to mangle her already beaten corpse?"

"Don't you get it?" Robin shouted hysterically. "Terra isn't dead! She just must have been unconscious!"

A little frightened by the emotional outburst, Cyborg nodded, and then started to make his way through the forest, Bumblebee following. Robin looked to the others and said, "C'mon, we gotta get Terra back… before it's really too late."


	16. Satisfaction

Before I get started, I would like to thank everyone for being so patient with me. I know I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to updating. This time I blame piles of summer homework. But alas, this is my final chapter for this awesomely cool story. I know I know… Dry your tears… Ha. Okay. Anyway, I was watching the new Teen Titans (well, it will be old by the time this is posted. Damn vacations!) and I really got into it. Well, at least when Slade mentioned Terra. I got all happy and I knew that Terra would be brought up again, especially with those funky clone things. But when clone BB said, "No wonder Terra dumped you" to regular BB… I was floored. My mouth hung open, and I just kept saying, "Oh. Oh. That's so mean. Oh." And then cut to the scene with BB's eyes widening with tears… Oh man that was incredible. I have to defiantly say that that scene was amazing. It really made me determined to write this. Next time it plays and I'm at home, I'm taping it, and then I'm going to watch that scene over and over and over…

Yeah. I'm just a little bit obsessed. But what can I say? I love BB/Terra. :D

Much love to all – Michelle 3

Lost Memories

"Terra, wake up." A sharp voice demanded. "Wake up you damn girl!"

Terra stirred awake, groaning in pain. She clutched her right arm, pain searing throughout her body. She sat up slowly, glancing around her surroundings. She was back in Slade's cave. But… how?

Before she had time to answer herself, she felt a sharp pain across her face. It took her a minute to realize that Slade had slapped her. She narrowed her eyes and managed to croak, "What the hell was that for?"

"For running away from me!" Slade bellowed. "No one runs away from me…" He clenched his fists in an attempt to draw fear.

Terra wasn't buying it. "That act may have worked on me to get me to betray my friends, but that was because I was weak. Although I may not be quite as strong as I was before, I now know when you're talking crap, and this time, I'm not falling for it!"

Slade raised his eyebrow. She wasn't supposed to remember. "You…?"

"Yeah, me." Terra clenched her own fists. She was more intimidating than he ever planned to be.

He couldn't believe it. Terra actually remembered her past! How long had it been since she was freed? Certainly not a year. This couldn't be right. She can't remember. It went against his plan. His plan to use her thoughts. Could he even do that trick any more? He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind.

No. He couldn't do it anymore.

"You ruined everything!" Slade growled, slapping Terra upside the head. She passed out instantly.

* * *

Terra flickered her eyes open, unable to focus. She still felt like she was asleep.

_Why can't I move?_ She tried hard, really, but it was impossible. She lay there, in a dream-like state. She briefly wondered if Slade was going to hit her for falling asleep.

"Look what you've done to her!" The voice sounded so familiar, so comforting. She wanted so bad to know who's it was, and what was going on.

"I've done nothing she hasn't deserved."

"No one deserves this!"

"Well if you don't approve, then I'll take the girl and…"

"STOP!"

Terra heard noises, muffled noises, sounding almost like small explosions. Her vision was starting to come in focus. Flashes of red, gold and dust flashed across her eyes. Yet, she continued to lie still.

_I wish I could help my friends fight Slade. But then, they didn't help me when I killed him. Or rather… I don't know. How did that happen? Oh. I'm so scared. I wish Beast Boy was here…_

"Terra!" She felt her body being shaken. "Terra! Wake up!"

How she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. But she couldn't… Maybe she wasn't strong enough…

She began to hear sobs. "Terra, please… I can't lose you again… This has happened too many times… It's like a cruel joke. I can't take it anymore. Please Terra… you have to be alive… Robin said you were…" She heard the voice hiccup in the midst of his tears. "Please… I love you too much… I really do… I love you…"

Terra felt her eyes finally snap open. She stared out bluntly, coming face to face with a teary Beast Boy. She glanced around, noticing that they were the only two left in the cave.

"Beast Boy?" She managed to say. Her voice was still rough. "Where is… everybody?"

Beast Boy snapped his head up, relief and love and any other emotion sweeping across his face. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as possible. "Everybody went back home. They caught Slade and… I don't know what they were doing with him. I couldn't tell if he was dead or not but all I know is that he's gone and no longer a harm to you."

Terra managed to sit up, holding her head in her hand. She felt cuts and bumps everywhere. She cringed. But then she looked down at Beast Boy and she felt her heart sink.

He was beat up worse than she was. His outfit was practically burned to pieces, as with the rest of him. He was beaten everywhere. She felt herself fall into his arms again. She was still too weak to handle everything.

"What happened to you?" She asked, tears brimming.

"Slade tried to hurt you, so I got in the way," he explained in a hushed voice. "He got some weird fire power thing. It hurt like hell."

"Why'd you do that?" She looked into his eyes.

Beast Boy smiled widely. "Because I love you, and I would do anything for you, and that includes dying."

Terra felt tears pour down her face as she collapsed into him again. "I don't know what to say." She wrapped her arms around him. "How can you still love me after what I did to you that night at the amusement park? And to all your friends?"

Beast Boy felt himself involuntarily gasp. "You remember that night…?"

"Well, I try not to, but you know, I tend to beat myself up over things like that. I can't believe I was that awful to you."

"Oh Terra." He hugged her again. "This is awesome! You actually remember your past!"

She smiled. "I guess so. But you still didn't answer my question."

Beast Boy carefully considered his words. He then remembered what Cyborg (or maybe it was Robin?) had said. "Love is all about trust. I trust that you're sorry." He gently gripped her head in his hand and made her look at him. "And even you're not, I'm a fool. And fools have a hard time letting go of the one they love."

She laughed. "That is so you."

They chuckled nervously for a minute and then stared at each other longingly. Beast Boy couldn't contain himself any more. He leaned in closer and kissed her. Their first kiss.

Terra leaned in, kissing him back. She felt oddly secure like this. He didn't have to say he loved her. His kiss already did.

No one knows how long the two sat there, in pure bliss, just kissing. No, not making out, just sweet, innocent kisses. They didn't care that they should probably be in the emergency ward for third degrees burns and then some. They didn't care that it was getting dark and damp, and the cave smelled like death. All that mattered to them was that they were safe, and that finally, they could be together.

-FIN-


End file.
